Till Death DO US APART
- Malavika Prasad
- Mar 12, 2021
- 2 min read

Here is the thing - Monogamy is an evolved concept exclusive to the premier generation of Homo sapiens. No matter how much we boast ourselves as the superior being, in the eyes of nature we are just another bunch of surviving apes (albeit a lesser ape) who share a common ancestor to the chimpanzees and Bonobos. We are essentially the descendants of hypersexual ancestors who had a sweet tooth for sex.

This explains why our ancient ancestors mimicked the kind of social structure existing among animals like the collective fatherhood. In the Book Sapiens : A Brief History of Mankind - the author describes how and why such a kind of social structure prevailed.
In such a band [ the band of ancient foragers] a woman could have sex and have intimate bonds with several men (and women) simultaneously , and all of the bands adults cooperated in parenting its children. Since no man knew definitively which of the children were his, men showed equal concerns for all youngsters.
Additionally, there was also the lack of reproductive knowledge and this led to a different kind of belief systems.
According to the belief of such societies, a child is not born from the sperm of a single man, but from the accumulation of sperm in a woman’s womb. A good mother would make it a point of having sex with several different men, especially when she is pregnant, so that her child will enjoy the qualities (and paternal care) not merely of the best hunter, but also of the best storyteller, the strongest warrior and the most considerate lover.
While it may sound silly, its important to consider that these convictions existed before the development of modern embryological studies.
Some historians argue that the frequent infidelities that characterize the modern relationships could have roots to the blueprints of practices of collective fatherhood that remained ingrained in our biological software.
But then. What changed that we began to emphatically believe in the monogamous relationship.
The answer- Our transition from hunter gathers to Settled farmers.
As agriculture became more of a primary occupation and settlements expanded, the concept of possession began to be prevalent. Initially as hunter gathers were hippies on the go with very few possessions, but this slowly began the change. As the settlements increased, the social divisions slowly began to manifest. There was a need to own more - more land, more resources.
The idea of owning demanded identification and this held true for their own offspring and eventually led to the concept of marriage.
The inception of societies foresaw that the ideology of monogamy was ritualized.
The process of evolution like any other process is not without obstacles. With various transformations , the concept of relationship have learnt to embrace values of monogamy. Today, we enjoy the benefits of being born into a generation that can communicate things effectively and openly.
The one take home learning is that - when we wholeheartedly embrace the concept of forever, its important to communicate our needs and desires effectively in order to satisfy not just the emotional aspect but also our basic human natural instincts for intimacy. And before succumbing to acts that can potentially risk a relationship - its important to question if its the rational evolved mind you wish to listen to - or your long abandoned ancestral traits.
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